August 2nd, 2007
Do What You Love
The back-to-school Staples commercials have hit the air, and all the
beach toys have been replaced with day-glo backpacks at CVS. Fall is
bearing down, even though we sweat through long, lovely, ninety degree
days.
My daughter will be a senior in college this year, and the pressure to define herself
and her ‘career’ is ramping-up. I long to tell her to relax, to keep
her eyes and heart wide open, to resist the temptation "to work
therefore I am." I want to tell her about how, at my ripe old age, I have only just begun to figure it out, and that what I did in the years fresh out of college set me on a series of wrong paths–because I was doing what I thought I SHOULD DO, what I thought others (read: parents) wanted me to do, and what I deemed to be serious and legitimate career pursuits.
I will, at some point, find a way to say all this….but right now, doing so is like touching an electric fence. She bolts, leaping over the confines of the car that we are riding in or the conversation we are having at the dinner table.
In today’s Wall Street Journal, columnist Sue Shellenbarger writes about, "How to Teach Your Children to Find the Work They Love:"
The result is what Jaye Roseborough, executive
director, career services, for Middlebury College in Vermont, calls the
"doctor-lawyer-teacher-banker syndrome": Students try to fit themselves
into one of a series of career choices as defined by others, rather
than using their interests to guide them in exploring the outer world.
How to recoup? "Talk about what’s of interest to them,
and how important it is to be happy in what you do," Dr. Roseborough
advises. Ask how they envision spending their time. The activities
required by a job "must be a way you really like to behave," she adds.
What kind of problems do they like to solve? Explain that many people
change careers multiple times. And tell stories about how you fell in
love with your own work.
I know that she is seeking answers, clues, footprints in the sand. And I know that she wants help.Just not mine at the moment. My gift to her will be to lay-off,
to let her find her own way, to silently let her know that whatever she
decides and however many times she changes direction–it’s OK with me.
I will not add to the pressure she already feels.
What I will do is to love her unconditionally, trust that she will find her way in the world, embrace the inevitable trial and error, and remind her (if she will listen) to find what she loves, however long that takes.
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:14 am
I used to think that the saying “do what you love” was a load of…well, you know.
But, after over a decade of experience doing what I love (strategic technology consulting) and even more recently getting more specific about what I love (strategic social media consulting), I have to eat crow.
Doing what you love is so important.
Yes, its the passion. The soapbox factor. The enthusiasm.
But, it’s also the bare fact that when you love what you do, you’ll learn new things faster and more successfully.
And, I can say without a shadow of a doubt, you’ll be able to be of service to your clients in infinitely better ways.
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:48 am
While Ms. Shallenbarger addressed a very important topic, her article barely scratched the surface. Stephen Covey’s 8th Habit presents a compelling methodology for incorporating your “passion” (i.e. doing what you love) into your profession. Covey’s message centers on finding one’s voice and inspiring others to find their voices.
Our voice, according to Covey, “lies at the nexus of talent (your natural gifts and strengths), passion (those things that naturally energize, excite, motivate, and inspire you), need (including what the world needs enough to pay you), and conscience (that still, small voice within that assures you of what is right and that prompts you to actually do it).” p5
Stated somewhat differently, “[w]hen you engage in work that taps your talent and fuels your passion – that rises out of a great need in the world that you feel drawn by conscience to meet – therein lies your voice, your calling, your soul’s code.” 85.
Covey asserts that finding your voice enables you to live a more fulfilling, rewarding, and enjoyable life — which is something I want for my 16 and 13 year-old daughters.
I find, however, that the spate of today’s sophisticated and compelling entertainment/advertising media poses a significant threat to our childrens’ ability to find their authentic voices. It seems there is a battle being waged over our childrens’ minds and habits. Indeed, neuroscience and economics have been united into a new discipline — neuroeconomics — that focuses on understanding (and often manipulating) our economic decision making. While not as obviously included in this concept of our economic decision making as our buying habits, our childrens’ career choices fall squarely within this circle.
As neuroeconomics advances, it may yield stronger tools for influencing our children’s economic decisions. The potential ramifications scare me, as I could foresee a generation of extremely efficient media consumers (our children) whose consumption needs may significantly alter their career choices and their diligence.
Does anyone have any answers? Can anyone offer me hope? Can anyone offer suggestions about sources other than Covey who can help?